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December 13, 2005
Eyes on the road, Kitty
Mr. Meow's short attention span was just one of many reasons he was a poor driver
Posted by gavin at 08:12 PM
December 12, 2005
So long, office novelty
Well it would seem the novelty of working in an office is starting to wear off. I thought it would be the tedious, soul crushing monkey-work that finally got me down, but in fact, it's the people. Everyone seems so defeated; they wander around the floors with a dazed, zombie-like expression... until they get to their desks, where they start hoarding their stationary as if it were the key to lifelong happiness (as opposed to merely the stapler they took from the supply closet and never returned.)
Of course, this is the best paying job I've ever had, so when it comes time to fill out the weekly timesheets for my paycheck, it suddenly doesn't feel so terrible.
(And then, to celebrate my new wealth, I go home and eat my money, slowly, note by note, by candle light whilst looking in the mirror and weeping joyfully.)
Posted by gavin at 09:01 PM
Clearly an office romance
There's a pretty girl on the floor I work on who has a tongue ring. We rode up in the elevator at the same time this morning and said hello to each other. I think we're dating now.
Posted by gavin at 08:58 PM
December 11, 2005
Uh oh
Guess who suddenly has access to a digital camera
if you said a man that just ate noodles for dinner you'd be correct.
Posted by gavin at 12:07 PM
December 06, 2005
Office Story #1
I started office temp work for some corporations downtown recently. I haven't been doing it for very long, so some things are new to me. There are two things I've noticed:
#1: offices collect some odd characters.
#2: No matter what time of day it is.. everytime I go into the washroom, there's someone in there taking a dump.
I mentioned these observations to Tom, a coworker friend who's been doing this kind of temp work for several years now. He told me a story:
One time, Tom was in an office washroom, sitting in a stall having his daily company-funded bowel movement, when he heard someone else enter the toilets. Since this newcomer was using the urinal, Tom "paused his proceedings" out of politeness. But then he heard the sound of grunting and heavy breathing. Horrified by what image he might see should he leave the cubicle, he stayed put until the stranger left. Eventually, the stranger did indeed leave, and upon exiting the stall, Tom went to wash his hands... where he noticed what had been the cause of the grunting and deep breathing: laying there, in the middle of the basin of one of the urinals, was a large turd.
Posted by gavin at 11:09 PM