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Join the HOT Squad Crew!

July 22, 2005

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I'm job hunting right now, which I'm sure you can imagine is nothing but a nightmare in these tight economic times.

So I was trawling craigslist, which incidentally is the best way to find the worst jobs, when I found this little gem.

It's a recruitment for the "Excel HOT Squad Crew". At first, I was skeptical with the whole idea of joining something call the HOT Squad, but then I read the posting:

"The Excel Inferno HOT Squad will identify HOT, will define HOT, will reward HOT and will sample HOT. They will be combing the city looking for the hottest dance moves around while handing out samples of Excel's new gum flavour, Inferno."

Mmm, tempting. Yet (and as I suspect most of you are also wondering), what exactly is the criteria for being HOT? What exactly do the the HOT Squad Crew do? And of course, is there somehow a Gorilla involved? Anticipating our burning questions, they continue:

"Outside the clubs, a fully-wrapped vehicle will pull up and the back of the van will open. Music will be playing with lights and a disco ball, creating an outdoor dance floor. The Gorilla will be showing his dance moves and getting the crowd involved. The other crew members will be handing out samples and encouraging the crowd to dance with the Gorilla.

We are looking for someone to fill the Gorilla role"


Of course, I'm not sure what a "fully-wrapped vehicle" might be, or for that matter why a gorilla would be jumping out of it to hold impromptu dance competitions, or (and I fear I may be showing my lack of intellect by wondering this out loud), what this has to do with chewing gum.

However, remember: somewhere, somehow, someone is making an obscene amount of money coming up with ideas like this.

And we need to kill him.

Posted by gavin on July 22, 2005 12:23 AM


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